How to Buy a Nicaraguan Passport: A Simple Guide for Expats (Get Yours Quickly)

Hey there, honey! You wanna know about buy Nicaraguan passport? Oh boy, that’s a big thing, ain’t it? This old gal heard some things, so lemme tell ya what I know. First, you gotta be from Nicaragua, you know? Like, born there or somethin’. Can’t just waltz in and say “Gimme that passport!” No siree, gotta have some proof you belong there.

Now, I heard it ain’t cheap, this Nicaraguan passport thing. It’s like, more than a hundred bucks! Imagine that! Back in my day, a hundred bucks could buy you a whole cow! But times change, I reckon. They say it’s like, $165 or something like that for the first time you are getting it. That’s a lot of potatoes, let me tell ya!

And you can’t just mail them the money, oh no! You gotta go to some fancy place, like a post office or library, you know the ones with all the books, maybe some local government office. Then they are gonna look you up and down and ask you a whole bunch of questions, I bet, need to make an appointment, whatever that means. Just like when you go to see the doctor, but for a buy Nicaraguan passport. And if you need it quick, like, you’re goin’ somewhere in less than three weeks. They got some special place, but I don’t know nothin’ about that, that’s for them city folks I guess.

I heard some folks, they got two passports! Can you believe it? One from Nicaragua and one from somewhere else. Like Italy or Spain, maybe even Argentina! They call it “dual” somethin’ or other. It means like, two, I guess. Like havin’ two cows instead of one, more milk, more trouble, I reckon. I think they need some treaties, you know, like making friends, and saying we won’t fight with each other, just to have this dual nationality. If your kids are born somewhere else, they can also have two passports, ain’t that something?

• First thing, you need your ID card. They call it “cedula” or somethin’.
• Then, you gotta have some pictures, but not just any pictures! They gotta be a certain size, I heard.
• You gotta fill out some papers, like when you’re buyin’ a new pig, gotta sign your name and all that.

Oh, and they say this Nicaraguan passport, it lets you go to a lot of places without no extra papers, no visa they call it. Like, you can just show up! I heard it’s like 76 countries or somethin’. Imagine that, 76 whole countries! More countries than I got chickens, that’s for sure! They also have e-visa, they say it is easier, but I don’t know, I don’t trust these new things. There is also a list, somewhere, that tells you which countries you can go to.

Now, if you already got a Nicaraguan passport, but it’s old, like my old shoes, you gotta get a new one. They call it “renewal”, like makin’ somethin’ new again. But I heard it’s a pain in the neck, this renewal thing. Lots of waitin’ and paper fillin’, I bet. If you are in the US, it’s even harder, or so I heard. Many people can’t renew it in the past year! It’s crazy!

They say this Nicaraguan passport has a rank or strength, like how strong your coffee is in the morning. I don’t know what that means exactly, but I guess a strong passport is good, right? Like a strong ox, it can pull more. And in 2024, I heard it’s pretty strong. So, that is good for people who want to travel, I suppose.

And one more thing. If you lose your passport, oh boy, that’s a big mess! Just like losin’ your best hen, you gotta go through a whole lot of trouble to get a new one. So keep it safe, like you keep your money under your mattress! This buy Nicaraguan passport thing, it’s a big deal, so you gotta be careful, you hear? Don’t let nobody trick you. It is important, I think, for people who want to go to other countries, for whatever reason. Me, I am happy here, with my chickens and my garden, but some people like to go all over the place, and that is fine, as long as they are safe.

They say it is different if you are in the US, want to get a Nicaraguan passport. I heard you need to make an appointment, whatever that means, and it costs money, of course. Always costs money. And they ask for many things, like when you go to the market and the vendor wants to know everything about you before selling you a chicken. They also talk about renewal, it is like, your passport is too old, you need a new one. Like when my old dress is torn, I need to sew it or get a new one. I guess it is the same.

Anyway, that’s all I know about this buy Nicaraguan passport. It’s a lot of rigmarole, if you ask me. But if you need to go travelin’ the world, I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Just be careful out there, honey! The world’s a big place, and not everyone’s as nice as your old grandma!