This here Belize passport, you see, it ain’t just a little book. It’s like, your ticket to, you know, going places. My neighbor, she got one, and now she’s gallivanting all over. Says it’s easier than getting a good rooster at the market.
So, you wanna get yourself one of these Belize passports? Well, it ain’t as easy as pie, but it ain’t as hard as churning butter neither. First thing you gotta know is, you gotta be living in Belize, you know, make it your home. Not just for a week or two, like them tourists. We’re talking five years. Yeah, that’s a good chunk of time, longer than it takes to raise a good hog.
After you done your five years, like serving time, but good time, then you can put in for the citizenship. That’s the, uh, the big cheese. They say it takes about six months to get that citizenship. Sometimes, if you are lucky, like finding a twenty dollar bill in your old jeans, you get that citizenship paper pretty quick. Sometimes you gotta wait, and wait, like waiting for rain in a drought. Could take up to a year. A whole year! That’s a long time, long enough to grow a whole field of corn.

And you gotta fill out some papers, lots of ’em. Got to be all neat and tidy, like you’re going to church. Gotta use a black or blue pen, not a pencil like a little kid. Make sure it’s real clear, so them folks in the office can read it without squinting. They got enough to do without trying to figure out your chicken scratch.
Now, here’s the kicker, you can’t just send these papers in the mail, no sir. You gotta go in person. That means you gotta get yourself all gussied up and go to their office. Like going to a wedding, but without the cake. And you gotta make an appointment, can’t just waltz in there like you own the place.
- Call them folks up.
- Tell ’em you need to talk about your Belize passport.
- Then you gotta bring them papers and some pictures of yourself.
You need some pictures, you know, of your face. Gotta look like you, not like your cousin, Martha, after she got stung by a bee. And there’s a fee, that means money. You gotta pay them some money. Ain’t nothing free in this world, except maybe sunshine and gossip.
If you are older, like, way past sixteen, which most folks are, you gotta do a grown-up form. There’s one for the first time, and then there’s another if you already had one before. It is like getting a new dress, but a little more complicated. There are different forms, different papers for different folks. So, make sure you get the right one, or you’ll be doing it all over again. And that’s a pain, like stepping on a rusty nail.
You gotta bring all this stuff – the application, the pictures, the money – to the Embassy of Belize. Now that’s a fancy word for a fancy building where them important folks work. That’s in Washington. If you ain’t from around there, that’s a long trip. Longer than a mule ride to the next county.
If you need that passport quick, like if you gotta go to a funeral or something, you can pay them extra. They call it expedited service. Sounds fancy, but it just means faster. Like paying extra for a faster horse. It’ll cost ya, though. They say it’s about sixty bucks more. That’s a lot of eggs, I tell ya.
So there you have it. It ain’t simple, getting a Belize passport. But if you’re patient, and you got some money, and you can follow directions, you can get one. Then you can go traipsing all over the world, just like my neighbor. Just remember where you came from, and don’t get too big for your britches. And send me a postcard, would ya?
Just remember, be patient, you know, things take time. If you want that passport fast, well, you can pay extra for that. They call it something fancy, but it just means fast. Just like a greased piglet at the county fair, it goes quick, but it’ll cost ya.
Getting that Belize passport, it is not like buying candy at the store. It takes time and some money. But if you really want it, you will get it, honey. You will get it.